Baltimore, MD. – Evidence points to Russian oligarchs buying ad space on Facebook, knowing where and how to target users for maximum impact ostensibly to create chaos in the United States, but that scare tactic appears to be failing. On a massive level. The ads focus on blowing racial tensions way out of the water, and creating a deep divide where there clearly wasn’t much of one before. “Everything was hunky-dory,” says lifelong Baltimore resident Joe Brown. “Really, things were great. On the up-and-up, I’d say. We all just had a giant city-wide picnic where we held hands. Hank brought his guitar, and we all sang.”
Not only is there mounting evidence for Russian ad-space on social media promoting racially charged propaganda, there is also increasing reports of socially active Twitter accounts being under the rule of the Ruskies. “Blacktivist” social media accounts promoting gun rights and “whitey scare tactics” have also been linked to the Russian government, undermining the Black Lives Matter movement and generally, stirring the pot when everyone is just trying to hunker down and survive the current administration.
The media has been losing credibility with the public in recent months, and with this new development discrediting black activists on Twitter, people are more united than ever. “Look, we are doing just fine here. Black and white folks just existing, albeit with mild terror not due to race or immigrants or anything. We’re all scared because of the unhinged rich guy in the Oval Office and I think that is something everyone can get behind,” Brown harrumphs before catching his bus to make it to his second janitor job on time.