Construction Firm Behind “Doomed” Millennium Tower Post Profits for Q3; “Most Desired” Live Space in SF

SAN FRANCISCO, CA – The construction firm behind the beleaguered Millennium Tower high-rise condominium in the South of Market neighborhood in San Francisco has reported being in black for the 5th consecutive month in spite of the fact that the building is sinking and tilting north by north-west at an impressive rate. Even more impressive than the sinking rate into the liquefaction zone beneath the shining glass tower is the recent award given to Millennium Tower as the “Most Desired” place to live in San Francisco for 2017. “It’s charmingly idiosyncratic, a bit of old San Francisco,” says Noelle Jones, resident of the Millennium Tower and a recent transplant to the City by the Bay. Jones says she paid over market price for her north-facing 1-bedroom condo. With a wait-list over 100 names long, the $500k price-tag was “a real steal,” according to Jones. “Because of the lean in the building, I can roll my wine from my kitchen to my living room. It’s a great party trick!” Meanwhile, the construction firm’s lawsuit against San Francisco, blaming their faulty engineering on the city’s simultaneous construction, rages on.

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