Young Actress Heartbroken She Missed Out on Weinstein Success Shortcut

HOLLYWOOD, CA—Aspiring young actress Pamela Grace is
reportedly crushingly disappointed over the barrage of successful actresses
coming forward with their stories of sexual assault at the hands of Harvey
Weinstein, a powerful Hollywood producer. Ms Grace has expressed dismay at
having her thoroughly planned out skyrocketing journey to stardom turn into a
regular old slog involving lots of hard work, luck, and staggering amounts of
talent. “What am I supposed to do now?” she bemoaned. “I don’t have time to do
it the old-fashioned way!” Indeed, at the time of this writing, Ms Grace had
fallen into a deep depression, and was considering a new career as a secretary.