Woman Emerges from “Fuck Fog” to Life in Utter Ruin

Nantucket, MA— A disheveled,
unkempt Nantucket woman was found wandering the streets of her neighborhood on
Saturday after reportedly emerging from what concerned neighbors called a “fuck
fog.” Not having been seen outside for weeks, Gailynn Parks’ sudden
disappearance shocked co-workers, family, and the tight-knit Pocomo neighborhood
she calls home. Known as a socially active single woman, Parks was the owner of
a thriving flower delivery business, and was involved with local charities
including a part time Meals on Wheels driver. In recent months, Ms Parks has
also been heavily invested in Tinder, and would check her phone with increasing
regularity, neighbors said. It became such a problem, work started to suffer as
her constant Tinder usage absorbed her data which left her unable to
communicate with her business.

Last month, Ms Parks failed to show up for her scheduled Meals on Wheels shift,
which concerned her co-workers, who have always known Gailynn to be prompt. “She
just dropped off the face of the planet,” said Roberta Halley, Ms Parks manager
at Meals on Wheels. “Those old folks needed her. And she failed them.” The
flower delivery business also suffered greatly, as inventory went several weeks
without anyone attending to the flower nursery and must be replanted at a great
cost. Ms Parks is unsure if her business can recover, and the recent instability
lost her the only remaining source of income at Meals on Wheels. “It just came
over me,” Ms Parks said, dazed and shocked standing in the ruins of her once flourishing
life. “One minute, I was sexting, and the next… all I could think about was
cock.” Ms Parks ‘fuck fog’ apparently ended when she was finally able to fuck
the shit out of her Tinder date. “I feel free,” she said through sobs.