Headlines for the Week of November 5th, 2017

1. Overwhelming Number of Bricks Being Shit in White House Greenlights Mexico-US Wall Construction

2. HOA Imposes Strict New Rules on Female Bush Trimming

3. Trump Administration Admits Aliens Exist; Pledges Tough New Sanctions on Secret Anal Probing

4. Google To Implement Ad Copy Translator in 2018

5. Future Stalkers or Used Car Salesmen?

6. Alt-Right Movement to Use Call of Duty Video Game Set in WW2 to Weed Out “Undesirables”

7. Plains Zebras Join #MeToo Movement on Twitter: “We Just Want to Get to the Watering Hole in Peace!”

8. Feminists in 2017: “Thanks for Bringing Us Together, Mr. Trump!”

9. Facebook Pressured to Notify Users Exposed to Pro-Meth Propaganda

10. New Tiffany Trump Biopic: “I Ate Caviar as an After School Snack Because Daddy Wasn’t There”

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