The number of potential males found in the dating pool is staggering. Like the noble, iconic peacock (or sundry brightly-feathered tropical birds doing similar-wise for that matter), the myriad ways in which they display themselves is diverse and fascinating. So many potential mates in the world! On a human level, one understands: of course you would wish to present the best of yourself! Dazzling, immaculately plumed images made to entice a mate to your side. All in the hopes of building a huge, Bald Eagle-type nest to rival all others in the area.
Please do understand: I am by no means besmirching the age-old art of attraction.
Ornithologically, it is well-known females generally have more to lose when mating with an inferior male. Taking the lead from our fine feathered friends, to make sense of mating displays and weed out the genetic undesirable mates, like Smithsonian’s Natural History Museum I have come to take inventory and categorize. For science.
– Dudes with Dogs (identified via copious, adorable dog photos)
– Dudes with Other Animals (varieties include: cats, sloths, giraffes, dolphins, etc.)
– Nude Dudes (varieties include: butt-shots, abs-shots, flexing-in-mirror shots)
– Mirror Selfie Men (identified by clothed male reflection in a mirror)
– “How Are You?” Guys (applies only to first message contact; subsequent messages excluded)
– Music Fest Dudes (identifying features include messy hair, large crowds, PBR, inebriation, Coachella)
– Outdoor Dudes (identified via any and all activity outdoors; varieties include camping, rock climbing, hiking, jumping off waterfalls, surfing, etc.)
– Tech Bros (variety of images identified so far: ubiquitous plaid shirt photo, glasses, mentions software in profile copy)
– Deep Dudes (identified via poetry quotes in profile copy, meditation in profile copy)
– Yoga/Meditation Guys (identified via chiseled physique, shirtless headstands, Warrior 2 beach shots, manbuns)
– Sports Dudes (varieties identified so far: volley ball, basketball, boccie ball; pending further observation & research)
– Car Dudes (variety of images found include go-karts, racing cars, motorcycles, limos, etc.)
– “Foodie” Dudes (hypothesis: the larger the plate of food, the better? 34 days, no tangible results)
– Vague/Mysterious Dudes (identified via no profile picture/no profile copy)
– Axe To Grind Dudes (identified via emotionally negative dating profile listing ultimatums, demands, mansplaining expectations, rules, dos/don’ts, blatant egoism, shirking responsibility, and emotional avoidism)
This concludes the first cursory study of males found in the online dating community. Subsequent entries of this sort will refer back to this initial document for cataloging purposes; later tagging and sorting features applied as further research concludes.